Monkey business

 With our moving happening in 4 days, I've been doing a lot of multitasking lately.  Inevitably, each time I get started on packing a box or sorting though something in a closet, I hear either a cry, a crash or a "no Asher!"  Our little monkey is really getting into his groove lately, and the addition of boxes around the house have given him so many more opportunities for climbing and chaos.  

And yet, I take pictures.  This one was snapped right after he threw my camera off the table (crash)

 And this is what I discovered when things were a little too silent.  I actually packed an entire bag full of clothes to give away and was amazed at my efficiency.  Notice that I put many of the shampoo/conditioner/lotion bottles in a place I considered "out of reach".

 There is no longer an out of reach place in my house.

 It's a good thing we're moving, because it's time to rethink safety strategies.  This little monkey pulled the door hard enough that our recently installed chain lock was pulled from the door.

Yep.  Time to upgrade the safety measures of our house.  A pad lock perhaps?  I do have to remember that this was the age Josie was when Asher was born.  At least now that this guy is 16 months old, he has an older sister to "shepherd him" (or at least warn me) when he's pushing the boundaries.

In the (new and improved) kitchen

Well, after last week's culinary disaster, I've been brainstorming how to make the kids' culinary experience better for all of us.  Because, well, lets be honest, this kind of drives me crazy.  (Remember the being a stay at home mom and losing your mind bit, yeah, case and point here!)

 So, like the majority of the on line mom world, I've been inspired by Pinterest.  And especially this kid's kitchen.  Good friends of our gave us their adorable wooden kitchen set which the kids have loved (both indoors and out) but the abuse it took outside left it rather moldy.  I've done what I could to minimize the moldy effect, but to be honest, I knew I could do better.  So we painted it yesterday.  As a team.

 That was kind of a crazy experience too.  But I strapped Asher in his seat with finger paint and Josie had her own paint brush and instructions so we actually did accomplish something.   Ta da!

 The kids are actually enjoying their own kitchen now!  Yeah, I know we are moving in one week, but I'm just getting this little kitchen ready for it's new home.  The black "shelves" Asher is getting his pot from might be mounted on the wall of our new home.  The chalkboard too.  I haven't quite decided where, but I think we're in for a few changes.

 That's at least one nice thing about moving every year, you are forced to rearrange, reshuffle, and remove lots of things that have gotten piled up around the house.  And it doesn't take long!

See what I mean?

 And for crazy kids pictures, I'll just entertain you.

It's been 6 years but

I'm going to run a half marathon.  So I think. I reconnected with an old friend who will be coming to Vancouver to run and I knew I couldn't pass up the opportunity. It's been 6 years since I've tried something like this, and there was a time that I thought I wouldn't ever be able to run this kind of race again.  But if the first week of training is any indication, we're going to make it for a couple of reasons:

1. I'm not doing it alone.  I have 3 wonderful friends who are also moms of young children who are training with me and who also live in the same place I do.
2. Said mom friends also have kids to push around in strollers while they run one day a week.
3. "" can keep the same schedule that I do and basically, we keep the same schedule with our lives anyway.
4. "" are detailed perfectionists.  If the training schedule says we need to run or cross train or whatever, they'll find a way to make it happen.  
5. ""  are athletes in their pre-mommy lives and have the spunk and stamina to really want to run again.

Like today, for instance, when we had to "cross train" and so took our kids to the playground in our housing area in the pre-dinner hour. We did lunges and pushups and sprints on the fields next to the playground while the whole world (well, world of moms and young children) watched.  We looked pretty funny, especially when our children insisted being carried as we did the lunges, or tried to do push-ups with us, or in Asher's case, tried to crawl under me as I did said pushups. I've looked funny exercising before, so a playground full of kids shouldn't phase me.

TEN years ago I began training for my first full marathon at about this time of year.  It's only fitting to begin again.  But this time with altered time goals and awareness that I have to overcome a couple of things (like added weight and age), but the spirit is willing, even if the flesh is weak.  And I really want to run this time!

Another reason I think I can do this is that I think there will be others cheering me on.  That's really what I need.  That's what we all need!  I need to be encouraged to run the race set before me, to have discipline to make it happen, and have joy at the little accomplishments that happen each day.

My last two training attempts were thwarted by pregnancies.  I don't think that's going to happen this time.  I'll just need to bring those children along for some of the training runs so they can actually be a part of this race in ways they haven't had the chance to before:)

And last but not least, I'm trying to make enough money to cover my $75 entry fee.  If you were ever thinking that you needed some lovely silver jewelry or adorable little hats for gifts for someone else, or for yourself, I'm hoping to sell enough of them simply to cover my race fees.  Anyway, just a small plug from the creator of Poiemacreations  :)

And for a group of moms who want to say at the end of the day "I actually accomplished something!"  (You stay at home moms know what I mean!)

Astonished

Three minutes after the mailman came yesterday I sat at the table, wiping tears from my eyes and letting myself cry.  Astonished,  overwhelmed with gratitude and wonder-tears.  I was chopping onions when the mailman handed me the little white envelope through my kitchen window so onion vapor and tears already clouded my eyes.  But when I read the lines "we love you guys and believe in you" on the last sentence of the small card and looked into the envelope I was stunned by the astonishing gift of kindness and grace.   Maybe that's not even a strong enough word.  I was floored, overwhelmed, amazed...  and I burst into tears.
How could the writer of this letter have possibly known the prayers of help and clarity that Dave and I angonized over the night before?  How could the writer of this note have possibly even sensed that when it came to our family making a big decision, we were at an impass? How could they have possibly known that our last words were "we can't possibly make a decision tonight, lets pray about it and see what God wants to do?"

I bet they didn't know.
But the Holy Spirit did.
And they listened and were moved.

And the great symphony of gratitude and wonder came to a rising creschendo as I chopped onion and cried elephant tears of thanksgiving over the table.

"Why are you crying Mommy?"  Josie asked (of course) and the only reply I could give was
"God answered a prayer we didn't even know how to pray honey."

And he did it in the most unusual of ways.

And I am reminded in a tangible way the the works of this great conductor of souls and prayers works in my life and the lives around me at a level I can never know, but only be amazed at.  And I am comforted, once again, that He is For Me.

My friend Anna reposted my marriage tip today and I read it, laughing because my own "tip" was practiced last night, even drinking the tea and listening to each other.  I would probably add that having an overwhelming sense the the Holy of Holies is always in your midst so why should we be afraid?  In marriage, in family, in life, the best and only stance we can take is to stand together and be completely dependent on Him who is among us.  To stand in awe of God. 

Oh, and to follow that nudging of the holy spirit together in your marriage... but that's a lesson I learned yesterday from a couple who, in celebration of their one month of marriage, decided to knock the socks off of another couple who are closing in on the 5 year mark.  They should be the ones writing marriage tips!

Making cookies and other helpful disasters

"Mom, we put all of our crayons into your coffee" I heard from around the corner of my computer while checking morning updates. I peeked around the corner. Asher was happily sitting on the table placing the last of Josie's broken pieces of de-papered oil pastels into my half full coffee mug. Josie danced around the room, clearly proud of their joint accomplishment. I thanked them and tried to explain that crayon flavored coffee wasn't my first choice. But clearly, they thought they were helping me and had a great surprise to show me.

 Kind of reminds me when I thought I was doing my dad such a big favor by making him "dinner" fresh from the garden. I'd find an old Juicy Juice can, and meander around the garden picking lettuce and ripping up tomatoes with my dirt crusted fingers and tossing a couple beans in for good measure. When he'd pull into the driveway I run up with my salad and present it to him proudly "I made you dinner, Dad!" Yummy.

Kind of like yesterday when both children insisted on helping me with the cookies I had to make for mom's group today. I thought that would be a no brainer, as I had a dry cookie mix for half the batch.  I just needed to add in some more oats, flour, butter, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, eggs, salt and mix.

Well, it was harder than I thought one handed, with a toddler on my hip arching for the batter and a little girl pushing her chair into the crowded kitchen to be of more assistance.  I tried sitting Asher on the counter and holding him there while I mixed ingredients.  Fail.  I tried explaining to Josie that we don't eat the raw egg batter until it's cooked.  She seemed to understand, but well, in practice....  another story.

Finally, as I had to get these cookies "cookcook" as Asher says, into the oven, I let them both stand in the chair while I dropped the dough on the baking sheets in record time.

 And so we got outside to kick a ball around while we waited for the final product.  And I started smelling a burning smell...  which was strange as it hadn't been ten minutes.  But when I checked on the cookies.... a complete disaster.

 The bottom of the oven is covered with burned cookie. I had gotten all the ingredients in except the flour.

 Wonder why?  Thanks my little helpers.  Thanks, quick mix.

Oh, and I'm taking these cookie crumbs to Mom's group in 5 minutes.  Hope they don't mind.

They are made with love, much effort and plenty of teachable moments.  For me.

Deep

I have begun reading again.  More specifically, I am auditing a literature course this semester that looks at authors who grapple with and write about the themes of Doubt and Faith in their literature.

It has been good for me.
But my brain has some catching up to do.  For the past 3 years I've tried to go into a library, or a bookstore and pick out a book worth reading and have been a complete failure in almost all attempts.  I simply don't know what to read and find that it's been hard to get into any book beyond a quick fiction read.  But I actually want to give my brain a tune up, and I do like reading, so I plunged in with optimism that this would be good for me. And that somehow I could tie together the themes of this class and the themes of my life.

I barely got through James Joyce's A Portrait of a Young Artist.  I really resonated with Francois Maruiac's Viper's Tangle for many reasons, and because I felt like there is something of my own story in his story, I probably have gotten the most out of that book so far.  I skipped The Place of the Lion by Charles Williams entirely.  I did get through Graham Green's The Power and the Glory with the realization that there was a lot there that I probably only understood the first level or two about.  Good thing I'm taking a class (auditing a class) that give me a chance to listen to someone expound on the depths of what is written.

And now comes Flannery O'Connor.  I know I've read A Good Man is Hard to Find during my undergrad days at Wheaton.  So I know there's much more beneath her writing than is first understood.  I remember reading that short story in the library and thinking "huh?"  But later on in class understanding more of layers of meaning.  Last night when I sat down on the couch to read Good Country People, I had a bit of the same "huh?" reaction, though I did enjoy the story and laughed out loud in a couple of places.  Not wanting to move from my comfortable position on the couch I called to my own philosophical theologian husband and asked him to google the story and tell me what it was I was missing.  "Think about it yourself" he said.

Here is the rub.  I do think.  I think about a lot of things.  But.... my analytic side has taken a plunge into the abyss especially since giving birth.  I don't know exactly what happened, but somewhere between grad school, and then putting theory into practice through my work in China, getting married and having children my higher levels of thought and analytic criticism have all but disappeared.  To be honest, figuring out the layers of Flannery O'Connor is an impossible task for me.

It's a good thing that my college roommate is an expert on the subject.  So when I sat down to do a little (emphasis on little) reading about the story I had read last night, I was delighted to find that Beth wrote her dissertation on the very subject.  Not only on Flannery O'Connor, but on the exact story I had just been befuddled by.  And true to form, it's packed with meaning.  Packed with allusions to all kinds of theoretical and theological references that I couldn't possibly catch with a "lay on the couch and peruse this story" kind of intent.  Nope, Flannery takes the grandiose philosophical metaphors that have taken centuries to come up with and smacks them with theological truth and then weaves them into a story that is so earthy that you could miss the whole point.

From

Here's the kicker.  Beth just had baby #3.  She finished this dissertation while she had one child, a year before baby #2 (who is 2 weeks older than Josie) arrived.  This woman is so incredible that somehow in the mothering, and teaching and being all that she is, didn't lose her brain cells or ability to think profoundly about ideas I've never even had.  I feel deep just thinking about Beth.  And so, I'm glad that I'm reading Flannery O'Connor and David James Duncan and Walker Percy and all the rest of the authors who write about things worth thinking about-- about doubt and faith and the grappling with both.

It's a nice change to think hard about ideas, and then snap back into the tyranny of the moment.  Like these curls.

 The next few images are literally 10 minutes of my life.  Since Asher decided to wake up from his nap when I was just getting settled on thinking deep thoughts and reading my next Flannery O'Connor story which proved impossible, I just decided to watch my son do what he would do and record it.

 Like eat crayons.

 yes, that's the floor

 yum

 There's my computer nook, and he's about to turn off the computer entirely.  I didn't get there in time.

 

 Yes, that's the compost.  I got him before he ate it this time.  At least it wasn't the dirty toilet water he drank from a cup last week. 

 He then got out the broom (he might have been trying to make up for trying to eat the garbage, not sure)

 Valiant effort.

 

Kind of.

See that chain on the top left of the door.  We put that there yesterday.

For obvious reasons.

 A good man is hard to find?  Maybe that's the theme!
 
Found him!

 Yes, deep thoughts have definitely passed me by.  BUT LOOK AT THOSE CURLS!
 Balance beam?

 Good thing Dada came home just in time.

I wonder where those curls came from?

 So much for deep thoughts, but if you decide to read my former roomie's dissertation about the aforementioned short story, you'd see that that deep thought to hang onto in this story is recovering humanity and not thinking too deeply but to be fully human.  So, in reality, my ten minute watch of this little rascal is indeed a deep and holy occupation.

Thanks Flannery, and Beth, for helping me see it.

a kale kind of day (Happy Valentine's Day!)

It's a kale kind of day.  We can't pass by the garden without taking the opportunity to share our neighbor's kale crop.  

 Don't worry, I believe they said something like "please pick our kale, we will never be able to use it all"

 We're taking their word for it.

 Picking, washing, preparing, tasting.  Kale chips are on the way!

 You've got to make sure it's organic right?

 Taste approved.  Even the raw stuff.  This is one of the only vegetables Josie voluntarily eats.

 Did I mention the cleaning part?  This is why.  Josie isn't the only kale lover in town!