Monday, January 23, 2012

Being a stay at home mom without losing your mind tip #3: Living in light of Eternity


The past 2 years I was uniquely blessed to have met and been shown extraordinary hospitality by the Brenners.  David and Madeiline hosted my Dave for a summer while he interned at the church they attended.  (Though "attended" is a rather non-impressive word for what they did at UPC, as they were amazingly involved in ministry at all levels of the church).  Even before I dated Dave I heard about the Brenners because, well, put simply, they were amazing people.  And as Dave and I grew in our relationship and then prepared for marriage, we looked to people in our own transformative times of life for clues in how we wanted to live.  Here is where I really heard about Madeline.  You see, Madeline has an amazing house.  And more impressive to Dave is that it is orderly, and there are stores and stores of ingredients to cook amazing meals.  (And cook vegetarian meals for an entire summer for their guest!) And stores and stores of homemade jam for peanut butter and jelly toast.  So, when we made our first trip as a family to visit David and Madeline, I was prepared to be impressed.  And boy was I ever.  The house is gorgeous and unique, there seemed to be an unlimited supply of cookbooks lining the kitchen and dining room shelves.  I had heard about the cooking, so this was expected.  But was blessed by so much more.  During our visits over the past 2 years, I have had different ages of baby/pregnancy/babies.  This gorgeous home was also the home of their 2 children, and they had treasured and saved the things that were special to them from their baby and childhood years.  So, this meant that the little baby   reading chair came out for Josie to sit in when she was 7 months old along with all of the board books in storage.  Later, when Josie was almost 2 and Asher 6 months old, the doll house, the board books, the cat toys and whatever else was of interest to my children were brought up to play with.  And I could sit on the lovely couch looking out at the flowers sipping tea.  (And boy, was there tea to have!)  And what most blessed me was the time that both Madeline and David spent with us in making meals and deep conversation (I don't think I mentioned, they are the busy.  When you are both lawyers, that tends to be the case). 

Being super busy never deterred them.  Each time we passed through, we were given a place to stay, cooked for, and had blessed fellowship.  For me, I gleaned what I could from this woman who had a girl and a boy (like me) and though she was trained to be a lawyer, chose to be a stay at home mom during her children's childhood because being with them was most important.  We heard about cross country vacations in the car, and around the world trips where the family bought plane tickets to fly around the world and every person in the family could choose a destination and research it so when this home school experiment was realized, the children in fact were expert tour guides by the time they reached the far reaches of the world. 

Before I met Madeleine, and especially after, I wanted to be like her someday.  Capable, extremely intelligent, hospitable, and organized, with a love for God and for her family and whose life showed itself by being a river of blessing to everyone she met.  And she had been what I am, a mom to two little energy bundles that probably had the same ability to create catastrophe in their wake, but as she talked about her children (now grown into young adults) she only smiled the joy of the memories.  For a jet lagged, haggard, overwhelmed mama (which I seemed to be every time I spent a day or two at her house) that's just what I needed to hear. 

Our last visit we were coming home from China, and Madeleine both brought us to the airport for our trip and picked us up again.  We stayed with she and David a couple days on each end to prepare for and recover from that big trip.  Of course she took us to church and to Costco and cooked amazing meals.  Oh, and also cooked meals for our friends that also happened to be in the area and we wanted to see and they both spent hours encouraging every person that darkened their door wherever they happened to come from.  (Now, that's what I call extraordinary hospitality!)  It was Easter season and Madeleine also had decided that her goal for Lent was to write a personal letter (by hand, a lost art) a day to different people because, well, that's just the kind of person she is.

Our last trip through Seattle we decided to make the long trip home from the airport the night we flew in.  We felt we needed to get home.  The Spirit leads in ways we can't ever understand.  We indeed needed to go home to Vancouver that night; that was the night Madeleine died.  She had had a brain anurism at the gym and died soon after.  We didn't know until this past Saturday.  Dave had a class last weekend taught by someone who knew them well and when Dave ventured to make a connection to this Seattle native by mentioning this family that had been such a blessing to him the professor replied "oh yes, Madeleine, she was such a wonderful woman, and her funeral was beautiful."

You can imagine the shock, disbelief, and grief that moment brought. Dave wasn't prepared for that during his class break.  I wasn't prepared for that when he told me upon returning home from class when he sat down on the couch that held the piles of books I was busily rearranging on our bookshelf.  We were even planning a trip through Seattle this weekend and had been talking about whether we should go a day early and stay with Madeleine and David.  Again, the Spirit moves in really amazing ways, because we would have just emailed asking to stay over and had never known. 

In light of all this, I have been grieving Madeleine's death, and grieving not only the loss of a person I really had only known for such a short time, but for her husband, children and those close to her.  All those books and toys saved for grandchildren she'll meet in eternity, the love poured out on so many people-- and I had only barely understood the impact this woman had made.  The fact that we didn't know she died indicates that our lives don't intersect regularly, yet her hospitality and friendship impacted us so much as we passed through a couple of times. Imagine the impact on people she's blessed for years!!

I'm taking a long time getting to my point about motherhood here as I've been sharing about this wonderful mother, but I haven't stopped thinking about her since Saturday evening.  Her life was lived in the light of eternity.  She smiled at the memories of toddlerhood and chose to be in the thick of it rather than in a courtroom, though by all means, she was entitled to that.  Being a stay at home mom was more important than success and prestige.  And following the daily grind of being a mother to young children, it seems that she continued to pour out her many talents to be an extraordinary mom.  Not only that-- but in every way she could.  The family always sat down to a home cooked meal-- and not just any meal, but an amazing meal.  Every week she tried a recipe they'd never had before and if they liked it, it would be put into the rotation. 

One more thing.  We had a conversation about death and the grief it brings, especially the death of a child.  And I clearly remember her saying that losing a child has to be the greatest and hardest loss a parent can have. But she was clear to make a point in the wake of grief:  because life is so precious, you must embrace the life you have and embrace and love other children even more because you realize so acutely just how fleeting it is. We simply don’t have time to remain in a self pity that takes from our task of loving in abundance.  (*** I have not lost a child, but certainly have grieved that loss of loved ones who have.  A great comfort and encouragement is the biblical pictures painted for children in heaven.  This article has been wonderful comfort and hope thinking of children given real significance through their "work" in heaven!)

Today, I swept the floors for what I must have been 5 times before lunch and 2 times after, and calmed tantrums, changed diapers, picked up crayons, mopped up pee and whatever else was on the floor... Afterward, I was struck with this thought-- love these kids, love your life, it is so fleeting so you must do the things that matter.  I definitely don't mean "spend a lot of money doing what you want because you'll never know what tomorrow brings".  What I mean is, do the things that bring real rivers of living water to people you love. 

Do I spend hours in the futile attempt at keeping my house clean and become so frustrated because like I said, it's a fail fail situation every time?  No.  I need to dig deep into the things that last.  Dig into prayer.  Dig into worship.  Dig into loving my children and sharing with them just how wonderful this life we've been given is.  Practice overwhelming hospitality.  Use my talents and resources to bless others whatever journey they are on and keep my eyes on Jesus.  Seize moments and days as gifts to be lived while I can.  Don’t hold onto bitterness or be unforgiving, that only takes away life, life that was meant for living!

I'm so thankful for the 5 days of my life I have spent with Madeline Brenner.  In those 5 days I have learned something about how to be a stay at home mom without losing my mind, and as I reflect on the surprise of her crossing over to be with Jesus—I am challenged to live this life of motherhood in the light of eternity.

1 comments:

p&k said...

What a legacy!