Being a stay at home mom without losing your mind, tip #1.

I haven't had one minute alone for 11 hours straight.   And if you count sleeping with someone beside you before that, add another 6 hours.  I did have an hour alone last night and had fun writing something a little bit useful.  And so I've been eager to write more today, and have been looking for the opportunity.  I even have a title:  "How to be a stay at home mom with out losing your mind"  After changing 3 cloth explosive diapers in a 20 min. span and 2 accidents with my one in potty training simultaneously, and endlessly picking up food off the floor that keeps sticking to my socks I wondered if I could speak to my topic.  

For an introvert like me, (yes, I am an introvert,  believe it or not), my energy stores have been sucked dry.  Asher has the croup and Josie is feeling particularly creative today.  So I guess if I have anything of value to say about not losing my mind today, it would be from this place that I say it.

Lesson one in not losing your mind: Put yourself in God's shoes-- you'll see what I mean in a moment. 

Wonder what it means when God calls himself FATHER. In those hours that stretch on with wars of the will or incessant crying ask yourself what could I possibly learn about God and his choice to call us his children.  

The other day we were getting ready to go to the library and it was freezing outside.  I was in the middle of changing one diaper and asking the other child to please put on her sock.  "But why?"  she asked 48 times over.

My answers didn't seem to satisfy- "Because I told you so" doesn't work.   "Because it's cold outside and you need to put socks on so that your feet won't freeze in your shoes"  is a little more acceptable to my inquisitive 2 year old. 

"Ok mom, over here?"she points to a spot on the floor where she thinks would be a good place to put those socks on.  

"Yes" I reply.  In the meantime, I'm wrestling child #2 with his diaper, pants, socks, coat and shoes.  We go out to get in the stroller and child number one follows, barefoot.  

"I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR SOCKS ON!"  I'm close to screaming at this point, because the 47th "why" is ringing in my ears.   "But why?" she replies.  (And here we are standing outside in freezing temps, with snow.)

And here's the vital moment.  Right here, right in the place where I might just lose my mind-- standing in my own socks outside the door on cold concrete with a squirming one year old that I'm struggling to put in the stroller and a two year old insisting that she doesn't want to put her socks on in any place I ask myself "what can I possibly learn here... and what is the real reason I want her to put her socks on?"

"But WHY?" that's number 49. 

"Because I love you!  Don't you know that it's cold out and you're hardly dressed.  Your feet will freeze in the 40 min it takes to walk to the library if you insist on being barefoot and you'll be terribly uncomfortable.  I love you and I care about you and your well being.  It is for your own good that you put your socks on! "  

And there's the moment.  The moment when I learn more about God and obedience than I've learned in the thousand other moments where I've heard about obedience being good for me.  Here I am, the parent, just asking for my child to say "ok mom" and then asking her to follow my simple instructions so that we can move from point A to point B with the least amount of pain and injury.  I'm asking her to listen, acknowledge and finally, simply do what I asked.  

How many times do I hear the voice of God asking me gently to do something and I squirm becuase it's not really what I want to do at the moment, and then ask "but why?"  And when he's got my attention and I say "ok, I'll do that"  and conveniently forget about it or postpone it there's got to be a moment of God really getting my attention, or of me postponing my obedience and being very uncomfortable. When I'm walking around the snow barefoot and eventually frostbitten and crippled it's way less pleasant than the other possibility of being snug in my socks and boots prepared for the journey and moving in the direction that God had for me all along. 

"I want your obedience, not your sacrifice"  A voice whispers.  

  And I've learned something about God and my walk with him.  God knows where we're going and how to get there.  He doesn't want me to stumble around because I'm not listening to and obeying his voice.  He's got warm socks and boots for my frozen feet, if I would just put them on.  But because I also am a stubborn child, I might just get frostbite and be crippled for the long walk and have a lot healing to do.  But I bet he'd be there right with me for that journey too. And like God has explained to me again and again through scripture the he loves me and wants my obedience for my own good,  I turn to my daughter and explain,   "Josie, do you think that it would be cold on your feet if you didn't have socks and shoes on outside while we walk to library?"  She sits down on the door threshhold, silent, putting her sock and boots on (the wrong feet, as always) and hops into the stroller. 

And I didn't lose my mind, that time.