answered prayer

I know this doesn't look like much, But if you look closely, you'll see 2 little fingers in the middle left of the scan, giving us what appears to be a little peace sign. "I'm just fine mom and dad" is what I think Josie is communicating!

Dave and I just got back from the doctor this afternoon. We talked to the doctor, a wonderfully kind and helpful Aussie man with lots of experience who dispelled our fears, and got an ultrasound. The doctor calmly and kindly explained all there was to know about placenta previa, but also encouraged us not to be afraid, as it a low lying placenta would probably rise with the growing uterous. As the ultrasound was being done, the lady doing the ultrasound was commenting on all things about Josie except the position of the placenta. (How she was positioned, her feet-- there were 2:), her facial expressions, her fingers...) We told her we especially were interested in where the placenta was and she looked at us, without much concern and said "oh, it's fine"... When we explained we were concerned that it was too low and that was the reason we were there, she measured the position and it was 6 cm above the cervix-- that's 4 cm HIGHER than it was a week ago!!!! Of course I just laid on the table with tears running down my face while Dave smiled at me from behind the technician's head. She contined to say there was nothing abnormal about the placenta, and that it would probably rise even more in time and snapped a picture of Josie's fingers giving us the peace sign :) (She was probably thinking, "peace out parents, I'm going to be fine!!" She was also practically touching her toes bending over at the waist- a very flexible baby- and had completely changed position since last week's ultrasoud! ) The doctor told me I could start jogging... (I don't know if I'll go THAT far at the present!) But it sure is nice to know I don't have to be afraid of getting some exercise and working out the tight muscles in my body:) I felt an overwhelming of God's love and control over this pregnancy, and that I don't need to be afraid. And I'm so thankful for direct answer to prayer! Thank you for joining us.

learning about prayer

Last Thursday I went in for my 25 week appointment with Kimmie Hubbard and Carleigh Hubbard Wood (Dave was getting his passport renewed next door at the embassy) and found out there were some concerns with my pregnancy, especially the position of my placenta. It's apparrently too low, a condition that could right itself and be totally fine, or something that would require bed rest and a possible c-section later on. I won't go into the what-ifs, as those thoughts have overwhelmed me this past week, especially as all my communication from my doctor is in Chinese with a translator to help... but not very clear.

However, I have experienced God's love and peace in a new way this week and I wanted to write about that. First, I'm more aware than ever of people who love us and pray for us and offer advice and encouragement when I've felt overwhelmed and not sure what to think or feel. Second, I've discovered that prayer is KNOWING that God is able to help me and be faithful, and praying is recognizing his power and counting on it. Third, worship is so much better than worry... Faith is more potent than fear.

Over the last couple weeks and even before finding out anything about me, I've been thinking about the worries and fears that plague us, the hardships and pain we go through. Seeing pain and suffering around me, and the effects of lost hope... all very distressing. BUT, I was also prompted to think about what's most important- if all else is gone, what do I hold on to? And I was reminded to be thankful. Thankful for my faith, my life, my family, my marriage, my daughter, my friends, my work... thankful for the gifts I've been given and aware that they are GIFTS that I couldn't take for myself, precious ones at that. And regardless of what I have or don't have, I know I am loved.

It's seemed in the last week that God has asked me to live this out in a new way. Am I going to let fear overcome me, or not? Am I going to be thankful, or demanding out of fear (and just frustrated when things don't go my way)? I guess the choice is mine. In the midst of hearing confusing information from doctors I don't understand, and researching the worst that could happen, I've felt more than ever like the persistant widow who really has nothing and begs for justice from the judge (luke 18). When it comes to this baby and what's going on, I cannot fix myself, only God can. But I need to count on God and his power that he is able and he hears my prayers... and that he is just and good. We studied Luke 18 in our small group on Sunday and prayed like the widow in a new way (i think Josie liked people's hands on my tummy, she rolled around through the whole prayer!)

The hopeful news is that I did get a doctor's appointment with a western doctor this Saturday. I hope to fully understand what is going on and not be in the dark. In the meantime, I'm taking it easy, coming to school to substitute teach which entails putting in a video and putting my feet up. Dave has been wonderful and intentional about keeping my life as easy as possible. I had friends visit all last week who did the same (thanks Kimmie, Carleigh, Karl and Mikkin!) More things to be thankful for! In chapel today Tim had us write our own psalms... another good exercise in being real with God. And Josie is alive and squirming more and more each day under my ribs, in my bladdar, in on my side. Most afternoons I just watch my tummy rumble:)

American with Chinese characteristics

We've chosen to call her Josie, with her middle name being Mei. We're still deciding on the full name of Josie-- we could go 3 ways and probably won't decide for a little while. But her name is Josie, her middle name Mei, and if she wants, she can write it in Chinese. The word Meili is also a word for "beautiful" and the last part of that name, li, is part of my Chinese name; Kaili. So, in a way she is named after her mother, but through another language. But, she's made in China, and we're glad to be able to take someone back with us from China when we move back to the US this Summer. So, please pray for Josie and her parents as we continue down this very new road of preparing for a family and so many other transitions!

the funky 23 week look

getting ready for school this morning i thought this was an interesting shot... 23 weeks today.

as you can see, another cold and grey day here in tianjin.. BUT according to the calendar here, spring has begun... so we'll see what really happens:)

purely by instinct...

Our community has a clothing exchange every fall and spring. This fall after finding out we were expecting I rummaged through the community clothes and picked out a few items to hold on to. Purely by instinct this is what I kept.....and I'm glad I did!! I think this will be a great start to our little GIRL'S wardrobe! YES, this is an announcement, we are having a girl! Don't get me wrong, I would have been delighted to have a boy, and was second guessing myself last week, but when we looked at the ultrasound and double confirmed with the technician with the size of certian parts, she confirmed we were indeed having a daughter!

So, I have a good start on pink clothes, but am hoping this little girl will enjoy a multitude of colors:)